Letting Go...

As I am in transition to the mission field, my blog is also in transition. I guess it is becoming a lot more personal, as far as what I share. I think this post shows that...




God started talking to me this summer about letting go. He asked me to let go of specific thing in my life. He also asked me to release the grip I had on some relationships and dreams for the future. More recently, He has been asking me to let go of myself.

A dream God asked me to let go of was ever getting married and having children of my own. After crying out to God for help and battling myself, I let go. I betrothed myself to Jesus Christ and contented myself in Him. He is all I need. [Over a month after that event *(I went back and looked and it was 2 months and 11 days afterward), God told me I would get married some day. Having let go of the whole thing already, I am content to wait for His timing.]

There are many "things" God asked me to let go of. One of the first requests to "let go" was that I simplify my stuff- preparing to be able to pick up and leave for the mission field at some unknown time. I began, but didn't finish. I am still in process of simplifying and letting go, though I now know I am moving to the mission field in less than a month. This has been a hard process because of the materialistic atmosphere which surrounds us in the western world. It also has to do with thinking in lack. I'll explain this. It's not that I have any lack. I have everything I need- I've never missed a meal because we had no food; I never had to sleep on the street because we had no house; I never had to go around naked because I had no clothes. I have been, and am, well provided for. This thinking in lack, for me, has looked like saving so many things that I'm not using "in case" I need them later in life. As if God is unable to provide for me when the need arises. Really, God is more than able to provide, and He will take care of me. So, I can freely give away what I don't currently need and ask my Father for the things I need. My Father is good.

Now, as for letting go of myself, well that is more current. I'm just coming to the realization that God wants me to not only let go of my "stuff", but also myself. The tendency when God asks me to do something is to try to do it in my own strength. The attitude is like, "Okay, that is what God wants me to do, so I'm going to do it. Now how can I get this done?" What I'm realizing is what Jesus said, "without Me, you can do nothing." I really cannot accomplish what He has called me to do on my own. Of course I "knew that." However, the way I actually live shows that I still try to do everything in my own strength. This of course leads to stress, fatigue, frustration, worry, fear, thinking in lack, and so on. Yet, to really let go of myself and trying to "get it all done" would be much more effective, provided of course I allow God to work through me. It's not striving and struggling. It's letting go. It's not giving into the pressure to use my mind to figure out how it all fits in my schedule and pushing until it's "done". There is some satisfaction in a job accomplished, yes, but does that bear any fruit? Certainly not the quality or quantity that would have been reached by relying on God. It seems a foreign concept to let go and abandon self in this self-focused culture, so I'm not sure what it all looks like in practicality. This I know, I cannot do what I am supposed to do on this planet in my own ability. I need God working through me every day of my life- every moment. Those times when I have surrendered to God and let Him work through me have been sweet and fruitful. Sadly, I have many memories of relying on my own strength and being stressed out and then not even reaching my goal. I don't want that anymore. I want to walk with my Father, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and fulfill what He has called me to do in this time on earth.

So, here's my conclusion: I give up! God, whatever You want to do through me, You may do. It's not my own strength or ability. It's You in me. I am Yours, so have Your way in me.

*SIGH* =)
There's a freedom in saying "I give up" and completely surrendering to God. =)

Let's see what comes of it. All the glory to God! =)

Specifically Created

"The word of the LORD came to me, saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.'
'Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.'
But the LORD said to me, 'Do not say, "I am only a child." You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,' declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, 'Now, I have put my words in your mouth.'" (Jeremiah 1:4-9)

I love these verses! It shows how God created us each specifically for a purpose. I like what "The Principles and Power of Vision" says about this:

"Notice that God used the past tense. He had already set apart and appointed Jeremiah as a prophet. Yet at first, Jeremiah responded, 'I do not know how to speak' (v.6). God's reaction was, in effect, 'Do not say that! If I built you to be a prophet, don't tell Me you can't talk!'...
...Again, whatever God is causing you to dream is a revelation of your ability. Responsibility is really 'respond-ability' or the ability to respond to the requirement of your vision.

Everything about you is determined by your purpose. God built you, designed you, and gave you the right makeup for it. Your heritage and ethnic mix, the color of your skin, your language, your height, and all the other physical features are made for the fulfillment of your vision. You were built for what you're supposed to do. You are perfect for your purpose. This means that your ability isn't dependent on what you perceive as your limitations.

...Everything God gave you to do, you are able to do. For everything God put in your heart to do, you have the corresponding ability to accomplish.

Dreams are given to draw out what's already inside us and to activate God's power in enabling us to achieve our visions. This is why God may give us dreams that are bigger than our educations. ...Likewise, you may not have the background to do what you are going to do. People may not believe you can do it, yet what does it matter what they think? Just keep doing what God tells you to do. God never gives us dreams to frustrate us. He gives us dreams to deliver us from mediocrity and to reveal our true selves to the world. The more I study the Word of God, the more I realize that God appoints, anoints, and distinguishes people. He doesn't like them to get lost in mediocrity. Therefore, He said, in effect, 'Abraham, come out. Moses, come out. David, come out. You are lost among the average.' "