Letting Go...

As I am in transition to the mission field, my blog is also in transition. I guess it is becoming a lot more personal, as far as what I share. I think this post shows that...




God started talking to me this summer about letting go. He asked me to let go of specific thing in my life. He also asked me to release the grip I had on some relationships and dreams for the future. More recently, He has been asking me to let go of myself.

A dream God asked me to let go of was ever getting married and having children of my own. After crying out to God for help and battling myself, I let go. I betrothed myself to Jesus Christ and contented myself in Him. He is all I need. [Over a month after that event *(I went back and looked and it was 2 months and 11 days afterward), God told me I would get married some day. Having let go of the whole thing already, I am content to wait for His timing.]

There are many "things" God asked me to let go of. One of the first requests to "let go" was that I simplify my stuff- preparing to be able to pick up and leave for the mission field at some unknown time. I began, but didn't finish. I am still in process of simplifying and letting go, though I now know I am moving to the mission field in less than a month. This has been a hard process because of the materialistic atmosphere which surrounds us in the western world. It also has to do with thinking in lack. I'll explain this. It's not that I have any lack. I have everything I need- I've never missed a meal because we had no food; I never had to sleep on the street because we had no house; I never had to go around naked because I had no clothes. I have been, and am, well provided for. This thinking in lack, for me, has looked like saving so many things that I'm not using "in case" I need them later in life. As if God is unable to provide for me when the need arises. Really, God is more than able to provide, and He will take care of me. So, I can freely give away what I don't currently need and ask my Father for the things I need. My Father is good.

Now, as for letting go of myself, well that is more current. I'm just coming to the realization that God wants me to not only let go of my "stuff", but also myself. The tendency when God asks me to do something is to try to do it in my own strength. The attitude is like, "Okay, that is what God wants me to do, so I'm going to do it. Now how can I get this done?" What I'm realizing is what Jesus said, "without Me, you can do nothing." I really cannot accomplish what He has called me to do on my own. Of course I "knew that." However, the way I actually live shows that I still try to do everything in my own strength. This of course leads to stress, fatigue, frustration, worry, fear, thinking in lack, and so on. Yet, to really let go of myself and trying to "get it all done" would be much more effective, provided of course I allow God to work through me. It's not striving and struggling. It's letting go. It's not giving into the pressure to use my mind to figure out how it all fits in my schedule and pushing until it's "done". There is some satisfaction in a job accomplished, yes, but does that bear any fruit? Certainly not the quality or quantity that would have been reached by relying on God. It seems a foreign concept to let go and abandon self in this self-focused culture, so I'm not sure what it all looks like in practicality. This I know, I cannot do what I am supposed to do on this planet in my own ability. I need God working through me every day of my life- every moment. Those times when I have surrendered to God and let Him work through me have been sweet and fruitful. Sadly, I have many memories of relying on my own strength and being stressed out and then not even reaching my goal. I don't want that anymore. I want to walk with my Father, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and fulfill what He has called me to do in this time on earth.

So, here's my conclusion: I give up! God, whatever You want to do through me, You may do. It's not my own strength or ability. It's You in me. I am Yours, so have Your way in me.

*SIGH* =)
There's a freedom in saying "I give up" and completely surrendering to God. =)

Let's see what comes of it. All the glory to God! =)

Hang on!

“I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser. Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit [that stops bearing] He cuts away (trims off, takes away); and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit. You are cleansed and pruned already, because of the word which I have given you [the teachings I have discussed with you]. Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.” (John 15:1-5)

I cannot escape this idea of abiding in God…so this is a continuation. God keeps telling me to abide in Him. This is an excerpt from my journal that I believe could apply to you as well.

“Abide in Me and I in you- fruit just naturally come forth. You never see a grape being forced into existence- it all happens easily and naturally because of the connection between the vine and the branches. It’s not a difficult thing. Even so, when you just simply abide in Me and I in you things happen easily and naturally- without strain. So, don’t concern yourself with what others think and with pleasing them. Seek to please Me- obey and abide. If I tell you to let go of something, let Me prune it off and don’t try to hold onto it. This pruning will allow more fruit to come forth. If I graft something into you life, don’t resist it. Let My Spirit flow through you to bring life and fruit to that area as well. I know the amount you can handle and how to bring forth the most fruit. I desire fruit, in it My Father is glorified. So, abide in Me and let My words abide in you. Meditate on My words. Speak My words. Let them produce life in those around you, and in you. Abide and bring forth fruit. As simple at that. I have much for you to do, but you first must learn to abide in Me. Without that essential element, you won’t produce the fruit you and I desire.”