God started talking to me this summer about letting go. He asked me to let go of specific thing in my life. He also asked me to release the grip I had on some relationships and dreams for the future. More recently, He has been asking me to let go of myself.
A dream God asked me to let go of was ever getting married and having children of my own. After crying out to God for help and battling myself, I let go. I betrothed myself to Jesus Christ and contented myself in Him. He is all I need. [Over a month after that event *(I went back and looked and it was 2 months and 11 days afterward), God told me I would get married some day. Having let go of the whole thing already, I am content to wait for His timing.]
There are many "things" God asked me to let go of. One of the first requests to "let go" was that I simplify my stuff- preparing to be able to pick up and leave for the mission field at some unknown time. I began, but didn't finish. I am still in process of simplifying and letting go, though I now know I am moving to the mission field in less than a month. This has been a hard process because of the materialistic atmosphere which surrounds us in the western world. It also has to do with thinking in lack. I'll explain this. It's not that I have any lack. I have everything I need- I've never missed a meal because we had no food; I never had to sleep on the street because we had no house; I never had to go around naked because I had no clothes. I have been, and am, well provided for. This thinking in lack, for me, has looked like saving so many things that I'm not using "in case" I need them later in life. As if God is unable to provide for me when the need arises. Really, God is more than able to provide, and He will take care of me. So, I can freely give away what I don't currently need and ask my Father for the things I need. My Father is good.
Now, as for letting go of myself, well that is more current. I'm just coming to the realization that God wants me to not only let go of my "stuff", but also myself. The tendency when God asks me to do something is to try to do it in my own strength. The attitude is like, "Okay, that is what God wants me to do, so I'm going to do it. Now how can I get this done?" What I'm realizing is what Jesus said, "without Me, you can do nothing." I really cannot accomplish what He has called me to do on my own. Of course I "knew that." However, the way I actually live shows that I still try to do everything in my own strength. This of course leads to stress, fatigue, frustration, worry, fear, thinking in lack, and so on. Yet, to really let go of myself and trying to "get it all done" would be much more effective, provided of course I allow God to work through me. It's not striving and struggling. It's letting go. It's not giving into the pressure to use my mind to figure out how it all fits in my schedule and pushing until it's "done". There is some satisfaction in a job accomplished, yes, but does that bear any fruit? Certainly not the quality or quantity that would have been reached by relying on God. It seems a foreign concept to let go and abandon self in this self-focused culture, so I'm not sure what it all looks like in practicality. This I know, I cannot do what I am supposed to do on this planet in my own ability. I need God working through me every day of my life- every moment. Those times when I have surrendered to God and let Him work through me have been sweet and fruitful. Sadly, I have many memories of relying on my own strength and being stressed out and then not even reaching my goal. I don't want that anymore. I want to walk with my Father, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and fulfill what He has called me to do in this time on earth.
So, here's my conclusion: I give up! God, whatever You want to do through me, You may do. It's not my own strength or ability. It's You in me. I am Yours, so have Your way in me.
*SIGH* =)
There's a freedom in saying "I give up" and completely surrendering to God. =)
Let's see what comes of it. All the glory to God! =)
2 comments:
Great post!!
"So, here's my conclusion: I give up! God, whatever You want to do through me, You may do. It's not my own strength or ability. It's You in me. I am Yours, so have Your way in me.
*SIGH* =)
There's a freedom in saying "I give up" and completely surrendering to God. =)"
So how do you live your life completely surrendered to God?
Thanks for your comment, Anna! =)
Living a life that is completely surrendered to God, I think, is an on going process. However, at each moment, it's living having given everything that you're aware of to God. Then when He shows you something else, give that to Him as well.
Surrendering an area to God, I've realized, is a decision. God has given us a free will; we can make choices. So, when God asks us to let go of something, whether it's a physical object, relationship, dream, or even pride that keeps us from obeying Him, we can choose to say: "Yes Lord. I choose to give _________ to you. I lay down my will. I choose to obey You and walk in Your path for me. I am Yours. Have Your way in me."
The emotions don't have to be there, but they follow your actions. So, step out and obey God by choice. He loves you soooo much and has great plans for your life!
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